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Narcissism can have its benefits as it adds mental toughness. The personality trait can also lead to people feeling less stressed and being less vulnerable to depression than others. Healthy narcissism is real!
A narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a person believing there are special reasons that make them different, better or more deserving than others.
They may feel upset if people do not recognize their apparent achievements, resent other people’s successes and get upset if other people do not put their needs above their own.
The diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is indeed very negative and includes characteristics such as arrogance, preoccupation with oneself, a need for constant admiration, and, most important, a lack of empathy for others.
But what if narcissism had a positive side? Guess what? It does!
Healthy narcissism can be related to self-worth and self-esteem, through self-love, but it is not exactly the same. It’s taking pleasure in one’s beauty, in the workings of one’s mind, in the accomplishment of a tough job well done. It is great joy and satisfaction in oneself. It could range from a small victory such as scoring an A on a big test to a large accomplishment such as graduating with honors. Whatever the accomplishment, you are thoroughly in love with yourself for what you have achieved!
Have you ever gotten dressed up for a night out on the town, a wedding, prom, a special romantic night? You think, “Dang, I am the bomb tonight!” Or, “I look so handsome, I am bound to turn some heads.” That is a form of narcissism in a positive manner. Your self-confidence shines and you are feeling good about yourself.
Narcissism In Childhood Development
Did you ever think of narcissism developing while in childhood? Think about it. Infants cry and what do we do? Feed them. They soil their pants. What do we do? We change them. As they move on to toddlers, they take what they have learned and are familiar with them. They are very self-centered until they learn manners and how to be self- sufficient.
They learn words like “mine”, “me”, “I”, and “no” to name a few. The world revolves around them and they have no regard for others. That is until they learn it. When they learn concern for others, there becomes a balance between think of others, yet still have high self-esteem and self-confidence.
As one gets older, there is a greater appreciation of taking pleasure in oneself and one’s impact on the world. This is healthy narcissism.
Are you seeing the pattern? It’s taking some narcissistic traits but using them in a positive manner and still showing empathy and emotional intelligence.
What is The Importance of Healthy Narcissism?
If you can experience ecstatic joy in yourself, it will help you through difficult times.
So we go back to the beginning and where we stated with healthy narcissism is less stress and less chance of depression. What if you worked at a job you did not like so much, but you need a job. If you are able to apply narcissistic pleasure by creating your own achievable goals, it could get one through times of frustration and failure. Therefore, you just prevented burnout.
How about taking joy in one’s beauty and positive impact on others. Do you see where the narcissistic approach can provide resilience during times of disappointment and heartbreak?
Do you see how this thought process can take away a lot of stress that could otherwise bring you down and spiral into depression?
Some people don’t retain or develop healthy self-love from their childhoods. This can cause great damage to their adult years. How about an extremely self-centered parent demanding all of their child’s attention, not leaving room for the child to revel in herself?
Storytime:
My children who are now teens believed that their father knows everything and views him as perfect. As they are getting older, I see them both learning that to get attention and approval, they need to bolster her father’s belief in their own omniscience and perfection. If they assert their own needs, they get the cold shoulder or perhaps worse. This was not an environment in which my children’s healthy narcissism could flourish. Ironically, due to the negatives of narcissism, the healthy narcissist traits are destroyed.
Does it feel wrong to accentuate and revel in your good qualities? Think about the concerns it brings to mind, such as fear of envy or “the evil eye”; or worries that you might be conceited. If this is the case for you, reframe your healthy narcissism as gratitude for what you have been given. Being thankful for your natural talents may be a way to appreciate them without feeling too egotistical!
So fall in love with yourself and the qualities you bring to the world, all while sharing the same and Think Me First!
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