Self-acceptance was once a struggle for me when I was missing my identity for quite some time. It entailed periods of frustration, depression, confusion, some breakthroughs but would then go backward. There were all kinds of mixed feelings. Until one day it hit me. Was I not accepting who I really wanted to be? Or I was conforming to be what I thought others wanted me to be? I would do anything to be accepted. After all, its human nature to want to fit in.
As I became wiser and more alert of everything going on around me, I quickly learned to accept myself. Guess what came with that? If you said “happiness” you are correct. So read on to see how I tore down those barriers of self-destruction and loneliness and found the greatest gift ever, happiness. And it is so much easier to live happy than sad. I will show you how.
Table of Contents
What Is Self-Acceptance?
First, you need to know what self-acceptance means. Self-acceptance is exactly what its name suggests: the state of complete acceptance of oneself. True self-acceptance is embracing who you are, without any qualifications, conditions, or exceptions (Seltzer, 2008).
This means that you need to accept who you are and not who you think you’re supposed to be. This also means that you need to accept your good qualities and your bad ones. And yes, everyone has both good and bad qualities.
This is the place where people tend to get stuck the most – not being able to admit they have flaws and then once they accept their flaws, not being able to live with these flaws.
It’s all about accepting yourself….the whole package!
Why Self-Acceptance Is Important
Self-acceptance is so important because if you do not accept yourself for who you really are, you will create a number of problems for yourself. Some of these problems are internally affecting the way you view yourself and which will also affect how others treat you. Sadly, many people try to be like someone else.
Accepting yourself for who you truly are and where your strengths and weaknesses lie will help you in a lot of ways. When you know what you want, this will allow you to be comfortable with your place in the world and be honest with yourself.
It can build your self-confidence; you will live a life free of self-criticism and you can begin to face the challenges in your life and overcome them. Imagine being at ease with people, being able to speak in public and feel good about yourself, no more shyness or fear.
When you believe in yourself, others will believe in you too. When you show and believe you have self-confidence, others will see that in you too. If you accept yourself you can value yourself and show others that they should respect who you are.
Self-acceptance means that you are happy with the way you are and who you are. Self-acceptance is a necessary first step towards self-improvement because you need to see the truth about yourself and accept it, and then decide whether or not you want to change.
We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day.-Richard G Scott
How Can You Achieve Accepting Yourself?
Be kind to yourself
It’s time to accept the fact that no one judges you more than you judge yourself. Be patient with yourself, and accept your flaws. After all, we all have them. We all do! But the quicker you accept them, the faster you will on track to happiness.
Confront your fears
We all have a history that includes some bad, devastating thing. We all have baggage to go with that bad history. We’re human, and we’re bound to be hurt by something or someone. But it’s the fear of the unknown that keeps us trapped. We’re so afraid to experience something unfamiliar that we allow ourselves to become stuck in what we know. It’s important to take baby steps to create change. Start by making a list of things that scare you. Start with one small thing, try to face it, and understand why it’s not so scary. Then move onto the next small thing, and so on. Don’t let this be an overwhelming task but one of self-satisfaction.
Stay positive
Surround yourself with goodness, this includes people and happenings. Write yourself sweet notes. Hang up posters with positive affirmations. Download positive apps. Journal about positive things. When you feel insecure and doubt creeping into your thoughts, turn to one of your good things. Tell that little defeating voice inside your head to be quiet and that you refuse to go to that dark place! The more you train you to mind to think and be positive, the more it becomes the same.
Accept imperfection
Let go of the ideal or what you think the norm is. Let go of what you think perfection looks like. Life is perfection in all its imperfections. Don’t let an obsession for perfection slow you down in accomplishing your goals. Good is good enough.
Don’t take things personally
If something offends you, stop and ask yourself why you’re offended. Make a conscious effort to stop assuming you know what people mean. Don’t get defensive about something you’ve internalized. Chances are people don’t want to hurt you, but they might not know how to communicate effectively either. Things get lost in translation. If you’re not clear on the meaning of a specific comment, all you have to do is ask.
Forgive
This was one that I really struggled with. Perhaps it will be a topic one day. You can’t grow without forgiveness. But know that it’s a process, and it will take time. Forgive others for things they didn’t mean to do. Forgive others for things they didn’t know they did.
Most importantly, forgive yourself for mistakes you think you’ve made. And forgive yourself if things don’t change quickly enough.
Believe in yourself
You are capable of accomplishing great things. Believe that you can do anything because you can. You are a strong and powerful being, and you can deal with any challenge that comes your way. Remember, you’ve already survived the worst thing you’ve experienced in your life. Accept it, learn from it and move on.
Don’t give up
When you fall, you need to get up and keep working hard. It’s in our failures, not our successes, that we learn the most about ourselves. Figure out what motivates you by celebrating something are you not so great at doing. It’s in these intimate moments that life’s precious lessons are learned.
You’re worth it, and you deserve to be happy.
If you are going to succeed, you must deal with what caused you to fail.
-Tony Robbins
Positive Talk For Yourself
- “I am a good and caring person and deserve to be treated with respect.”
- “I am capable of achieving success in my life.”
- “There are people who love me and will be there for me when I need them.”
- “I deserve to be happy.”
- “I am allowed to make mistakes and learn from them.”
Repeat these statements to yourself, acknowledge them, and absorb them, and you will be well on your way to self-acceptance and self-love.
Tips For Practicing Self-Love
- Let go of insecurities
- Take a step back and reflect
- Keep in mind, whatever you do, time will still go by
- Step out of your comfort zone
- Stop caring about what other people think because they don’t care
- Spend time with yourself
- Get rid of toxic relationships
- Mindfully pick who you follow on social media
- Strive for purpose, happiness will follow
- Sleep, eat and drink well
- Meditate
- Have a routine
- Move your body and exert negative energy
- Learn new things
- Think positive
So there you have it in a nutshell. Strive to be the person you want to be. You will not fit in every group, but there are always people out there to which you can relate to. Remember to be yourself and you will find those with similar interests. Those are the people you want to surround yourself with. It is here you will find happiness!
Until then, take care and Think Me First!
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