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Self-doubt is defined as a lack of confidence in one’s self and one’s abilities. So, to rid yourself, do the opposite! Don’t compare yourself, set the bar realistically, be self-aware of why you doubt yourself or what your fear is and then conquer it. Here are nine powerful ways to rid yourself of self-doubt.
We all at one time or another have had self-doubt. Sometimes it’s a reality check. Many of the articles I write all go back to the common theme of confidence or self-esteem, perhaps both. I have written about anger, happiness, self-love, and love bombing. The commonality was confidence and self-esteem.
I guess I now know my next two topics. 😉
Watch this video to discover 9 ways to delete self-doubt. 🙂 It can also be found on my Facebook Group page, or on my YouTube channel.
What is Your Fear or Reason for Your Self Doubt?
Are you afraid of failing? Are you afraid of the unknown? Is this situation out of your comfort zone?
We are often our own worst enemy. We make decisions based on the stories we tell ourselves. But, how can they be true? They may not be. That is part of the problem. These stories we feed ourselves keep us from trying new things.
My husband said to me one time, “Play out all of the possible scenarios when you have a situation that is stressful.” So, I do. Out of all the possibilities for any stressful situation I have encountered, there were only a few that were likely to happen and the outcomes weren’t that bad. But, had I not done that, I would have worried and talked myself out of pursuing my dreams, leaving my bad situation, and so forth.
So take the time to think things through and find out what you are really concerned or stressed about. Then run all of the possible scenarios that can take place. This gives you many options, it lets you feel in control, you are better prepared when the unexpected happens and you are not focused on only the bad.
Set the Bar With Realistic Expectations
Now that you know what your fear is or what is causing your self-doubt, set realistic expectations.
Don’t set yourself up for failure, but challenge yourself. Take baby steps. Start small and then build to bigger goals. If you don’t think you can achieve a certain expectation, make it smaller so that it is obtainable.
After several victories, your confidence and self-esteem will begin to naturally grow. However, keep in mind, everyone is different. This means that it may take some people longer to achieve victories than it may take others. Everyone will have different ways to tackle their insecurities and ways to enhance their confidence and self-esteem. This leads me to my next heading.
Do Not Compare Yourself to Others
Why would you compare yourself to others? These people you compare yourself to, do they have the exact same life as you? Are they wired exactly like you? Do they have the same support system as you, the same circumstances, the same situations? I can answer that, NO. No, they do not.
How can I answer that you may ask? Because we are all different and we have had a uniqueness about ourselves. We may have some situations that are alike and some similarities. However, there is no one situation that is identical to another when you put into play factors such as lifestyle, friends, family, thoughts, and many more factors that can change a situation.
It’s okay to grab ideas from others or try something that worked for another person, but it does not guarantee it will work for you for whatever reason.
Once you have the mindset that you are like no other and you have self-value and self-worth, you will most likely find a new confidence to boost your self-esteem. Do what is best for you, not anyone else!
Stop Apologizing When You Do Not Need To
Oh my. I was a huge culprit of this. I would apologize for the things I should not have. And I would apologize a lot. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but it does show at least two things about you. To others it makes you appear as if you have no confidence or self-esteem. And to yourself, it should tell you that you are in a world of self-doubt. But, if you do not recognize it, you will not realize it.
Now, I am not saying you should care how others see you, but they will pick up on the fact you have low self-esteem and confidence. In regards to how other people view you, that is their own choice and perception. That is why I say you might try not to worry about how others perceive you.
If you do not do anything wrong, please do not apologize. The more you hear yourself apologize, the more you doubt yourself. Think about it. If you hear yourself constantly apologizing, you not only hear it from yourself but the more you hear it, you start to believe it. The word “sorry” is usually viewed with negative vibes because there is usually something negative connected to having to say it.
Find a Reference Point to When Your Self Doubt Started
Think about when your self-doubt started. Do you recall what sparked the self-doubt or the events that led up to the start of your self-doubt? Then reflect on where you are now. You can think about the things, events, or people that put you in that frame of mind. But better yet, think to yourself about how you get through it.
This begins with a positive mindset and surrounding yourself with positive people. Now, does this mean every situation you go through will be a positive one? Absolutely not! But, it does help you through each situation to be positive, hear positive, and do positive. And when you surround yourself with positive people in a positive environment, things will naturally seem better much quicker than if you were in a negative one.
Think of the last time you were in a negative environment? Did things get better or did they get worse? I have experienced this before. LOL. When I have a bad day and keep thinking things are going to get worse, guess what? They do. However, when I shake it off and move on, things get better. Put the bad behind you for good.
Do Something for Yourself or Someone Else
I mentioned this in my self-love article. When I was really down and out, I would make a nice comment to someone or do something nice for someone. This helped my self-esteem knowing I made someone happy. Sometimes it was short gratification, but then on other occasions, it would last all day.
The more I learned about self-love, I began to do things for myself that made me happy. That ranged anywhere from writing, walking, yoga, or some other form of workout.
When you see the results of making yourself happy and you actually feel happy and content, it will automatically make others happy and content. Notice I said to make yourself happy first. That is what this site is all about.
Embrace the Good and the Bad
Not every day is going to be a good day, but you can outweigh the number of good days versus the bad.
Be sure to embrace both. If you are having a bad day, think about what you can learn from it. Most of the time, after the situation has calmed itself, you look back and laugh about how silly it was. If it were a serious matter, it is most likely a situation to be learned from.
As far as the good days, the more they compound, the more confidence and self-esteem you will absorb.
Acknowledge your feelings for each, the good and the bad. When you are happy, things will go your way and life is easier. When things go bad, if you develop the mindset, they will get better, they will. But that will only happen after you acknowledge your feelings and move on.
Always Do Your Best
If you do your best, you can’t place blame on yourself. Are you going to fail? Yes, but that is part of the learning process. It doesn’t mean you did not give it you’re all.
There may be times when you are tired and fail a test, but it does not mean you didn’t give it your best shot. Or maybe you blew a project because you missed a deadline but thought it was due on a different date. That doesn’t mean you didn’t do your best. Those are mistakes. And mistakes are learning opportunities.
You only fail when you no longer try!
Doing your best and knowing it and believing it will enhance your confidence and boost your self-esteem. When you do your best, you assist in destroying self-doubt.
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Try Something New
Whether you are lacking self-confidence and suffer from low self-esteem, I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. You will be surprised by yourself when you do this. Small or large, just by doing something you don’t see yourself doing can make a world of difference to your confidence and self-esteem.
Even if you didn’t like that challenge you chose, you need to understand you had the confidence to make that choice. That in itself is huge progress towards building more confidence and self-esteem.
The more you force yourself outside of your comfort zone, the more confident you become. Then your self-esteem builds. Before you know it, you are UNSTOPPABLE!
To conclude, you have to believe in yourself and what you are capable of doing. If you do not believe, you need to develop a mindset and try. Once you have a taste of newfound confidence and self-esteem, you feel like you are on top of the world and that anything is possible. It is a great feeling. So try it today!
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