Holding grudges can be bad for your physical and mental health. So how do you let go? Read on and watch the video to find out how.
There is something to be said about when we forgive, we free ourselves. And letting go creates growth when we stop seeing ourselves as victims.
When we forgive, we free ourselves from the past. Now notice I am not saying we have to forget. But keep in mind, forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, not others. When you hold grudges you keep living a happier life.
Watch this video to find out more about why grudges are bad for you and how to tackle them. 😊 It can also be found on my Facebook Group page. If you would like to join the group, please click the link facebook.com/groups/thinkmefirst.
So let me tell you a little bit about my past. I will admit I am a pretty stubborn person. And with that, I held grudges. I was not a very forgiving person. Let me tell you why.
I always felt like I needed to prove myself right all of the time. But when I figured out how to forgive…. Geesh, I wish I would have learned it more soon than I did. I learned the hard way.
Life was so much better after I learned how to forgive I learned to write things off, as they were not worth my time and effort.
To value my time was a greater reward to me rather than trying to prove myself to one who really didn’t care. Now I focus on things I want and appreciate and learned not to fret over things that meant nothing to me.
Table of Contents
Why Holding Grudges Are Bad For You
- Research has shown when you hold grudges you can end up with high blood pressure which will more likely lead to heart disease
- Holding grudges affects the immune system, metabolism, and possibly other organ functions.
- When you hold grudges you also hold yourself back from seeing anything else with a sound mind.
- You get angry
- Everything seems to go wrong, OR, so you are convinced
- It could lead to depression
- Grudges are also unnecessary stressors
So let me ask you, is this worth it? All to hold onto something that is insignificant and can sacrifice your happiness and health.
Holding Grudges Leads You To:
- Focus on the negative things in life
- It keeps you from seeking out joy and gratitude
- Unhealthy relationships will develop
So, How Do We Stop Holding These Grudges?
See forgiveness as a strength, not a weakness:
- This could be in the form of giving someone the benefit of the doubt.
- It takes strength to forgive someone and let kindness win.
Remove emotions:
- Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and remove your emotions and self-reflect to see the bigger picture. I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy, but it is manageable. And it may suck at first, but you will not regret it.
- Use “I” statements. Ex: “I feel this because this happened, ” versus “You did this to me. ” This helps the other person become accountable for their actions vs feeling attacked.
Act with kindness:
- Have you heard of the phrase “Kill them with kindness?” It works, it really does.
- Use phrases like “Tall to me. What’s really going on?” Or, “you tell me you’re fine, but how are you really?”
Don’t play the victim:
- Instead of seeing yourself as the victim, see yourself as the hero of your story. Ex: Throughout my abuse, I was actually the victim and was not playing the victim. However, to get through the mental and viral abuse I saw myself as the heroine. I was like “Damn girl, you are awesome to overcome what you did and be the woman you are today. “
If it’s time, let go of toxic relationships:
- This is not about whether people can change or not. It’s about giving people to opportunity to change.
- If they truly did hurt you with intent, it’s time to let go of that relationship.
- If the hurtful act is damaging your well-being, let it go!
Final Thoughts:
Just be kind without the need for kindness in return. Sometimes it will be there, other times it will not. Even if this means saying goodbye. with class and kindness. Therefore, there are no regrets later and you will feel better about yourself.
Once you are able to forgive and let grudges go, you can start to live a free and happier life.
You will suffer less, be less angry, and feel more empowered because you are the hero of your story!
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