How To Find Your True Identity – Be Like Water

Finding your true identity can be troubling and difficult for many. But it does not have to be. Read on to look deeper into yourself and to understand who you are now and where you want to be. Keep your mind open as to how to find your true identity.

So, I was perusing through Facebook the other day and saw a message screaming at me. It read ” I’m failing to be myself 😿…what’s your advice?” I felt sad when I read it because I too have been in a similar space and it was a very stressful and lonely time for me. There was a lot of good advice for this person, but there was one comment that really stood out and even made me think for a moment. It was a piece of advice that was beautifully written. It went like this:

” Breathe, its not written, its to be discovered slowly. Do good and seek out the good in what you do. Strive at this and little by little, an understanding will start . Baby steps.”

Daniel Hukins

Too many times we follow societal norms and try to be people we really are not, just to “fit in.” We need to be true to ourselves and give ourselves time and credibility to grow and understand who we are. It is then that we find true happiness to live a long happy life. With that being said, we need to be vulnerable and find the courage to take those risks to find ourselves. Ask yourself, “What risks am I willing to take on while trying to find out how to find my true identity?”

Have you heard of the phrase “Go with the Flow?” Does it refer to water? Honestly, I use this quote quite often but never knew the true meaning behind it, but now I do. And it makes so much sense. After having read, comprehended and applied some of the concepts below, they all helped me with finding my identity. (Click here to find out a little more about me.) How will you find your true identity?

Watch this video to discover how to find your identity,  It can also be found on my Facebook Group page, or on my YouTube channel.

Are you familiar with Bruce Lee? He was a Hong Kong-American actor, director, martial artist, martial arts instructor, and philosopher. He is noted for the following quote:

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes a bottle. You put water into a teapot, it becomes a teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be like water, my friend.

Bruce Lee

The Bruce Lee Letters, His Story

To give this quote some “behind the scene, ” meaning, here is an excerpt from one of Bruce Lee’s letters.

After spending many hours meditating and practicing, I gave up and went sailing alone in a junk. On the sea I thought of all my past training and got mad at myself and punched the water! Right then — at that moment — a thought suddenly struck me; was not this water the very essence of gung fu? Hadn’t this water just now illustrated to me the principle of gung fu? I struck it but it did not suffer hurt. Again I struck it with all of my might — yet it was not wounded! I then tried to grasp a handful of it but this proved impossible. This water, the softest substance in the world, which could be contained in the smallest jar, only seemed weak. In reality, it could penetrate the hardest substance in the world. That was it! I wanted to be like the nature of water.
 
Suddenly a bird flew by and cast its reflection on the water. Right then I was absorbing myself with the lesson of the water, another mystic sense of hidden meaning revealed itself to me; should not the thoughts and emotions I had when in front of an opponent pass like the reflection of the birds flying over the water? This was exactly what Professor Yip meant by being detached — not being without emotion or feeling, but being one in whom feeling was not sticky or blocked. Therefore in order to control myself I must first accept myself by going with and not against my nature.

“The natural phenomenon which the gung fu man sees as being the closest resemblance to wu wei [the principle of spontaneous action governed by the mind and not the senses] is water:
 
Nothing is weaker than water,
But when it attacks something hard
Or resistant, then nothing withstands it,
And nothing will alter its way.

The above passages from the Tao Te Ching illustrate to us the nature of water: Water is so fine that it is impossible to grasp a handful of it; strike it, yet it does not suffer hurt; stab it, and it is not wounded; sever it, yet it is not divided. It has no shape of its own but molds itself to the receptacle that contains it. When heated to the state of steam it is invisible but has enough power to split the earth itself. When frozen it crystallizes into a mighty rock. First it is turbulent like Niagara Falls, and then calm like a still pond, fearful like a torrent, and refreshing like a spring on a hot summer’s day. 

Bruce Lee

Things To Think About While Finding Your Identity

Now I challenge you to read these quotes and passages a few times and reflect on the following messages and questions and to design your plan as to how you will find your true identity.

Water, when in its humble state, has a willingness to go wherever its flow takes it.

• Be natural and work with life as it comes at you, do not fight against it.
• Find what works best for YOU, not others.

Water can capture reflections and shadows from the light above, yet never loses its true nature.

• Be true to yourself and follow your gut and heart, as that is who you are. This is a very important step in understanding how to find your true identity.
• A true and loyal friend or loved one will love you for who you are. These are the people you want to surround yourself with. If you constantly change yourself to fit in with a certain group, this will hinder you from finding yourself.
• If you do find yourself changing your ways to just “fit in” don’t question why or second guess yourself. Get out of that group and find another. We often spend too much time trying to find out why we do not fit in. Keep it simple for yourself. If you do not fit in, you just don’t. You will know when you found the right friend group or the right relationship because you can be yourself. You don’t have to be anyone else. When you understand this, life becomes much more simplified and then you can find joy in other things you may have overlooked.

Water can take on many different forms from freezing it to boiling it. But its molecular nature never changes.

• One has to take risks to find out who they are. Step outside of your comfort zone to find what you really like and dislike. This may take wearing different hats, but inside, you are still who you are. You have heard it before, part of life is failing, yet learning lessons from those failures.
• EX: I often make the claim, due to my type of work, “I do not like people.” Yet, in all actuality, I sit here and am enjoying writing this article to help others. ( I can go from having a freezing cold heart to warm in minutes. 🙂 and still remain the same person)

Water takes the shape of whatever it’s placed into.

• You can do the same with any situation, as long as you can adapt and not work against the situation, but rather work with the task at hand. I struggled with this at work. There were many changes being implemented and they did not make any sense to me. Now keep in mind, I am not afraid of change. I understand it is necessary. When learned to work with it instead of against it, my life was much more simple and less stressful.
• This can work with relationships of any sort too. Don’t work against conflict, but look to work with it. Or when something is going great, keep it flowing!
• If we are able to be free and flowing with whatever situation we find, we will live a long and happy life.
• If we do nothing but fight out life situations and try to force them into the shapes we prefer, we will do nothing but create stress and suffer.

Finding your identity is a difficult task as there are no written instructions and everyone’s being is different. But if you apply the mindset of water to your everyday life situations, you may find guidance with that. Start small with your practice and then take on larger risks as you progress. This way you will learn about yourself and what is best for you in stages. Give yourself time to reflect on your progress and the steps you took to get there. And here is a big reminder: NO MATTER HOW BIG OR HOW SMALL YOU ARE GROWING, GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT YOU ARE MAKING THE ATTEMPT, ACKNOWLEDGED IT AND BE INSPIRED BY IT.!!!!!! We often do not give ourselves credit for the things we do.

One last thought: When we try to force ourselves into a shape that others demand of us, we end up hurt and then lack confidence and are full of self-doubt. But if we allow ourselves to “Be like water” we will be able to handle any situation from a genuine place. By not going against the greater nature or against your own authentic self, you will not cause additional stress for yourself. In other words, you will not suffer like others because you remain true to yourself, while others suffer to try and “fit in.” So, How will you find your true identity? Will you “be like water?”

Good luck with your journey and Think Me First!

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