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Love bombing was a new term for me however, I was victimized by it for many, many years. I never would have thought that 13 years of my life was nothing but a lie, and all because I was “love bombed” in my most vulnerable form.
Per Wikipedia love bombing is “an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection.” It can be used in a positive manner or a negative one. Psychologist identify love bombing as a psychological manipulation or a cycle of abuse. This blog will us use it in its negative form.
Watch this video to discover the meaning of Love-bombing.. Are you a vicitum or culprit? It can also be found on my Facebook Group page, or on my YouTube channel.
What Are Some Signs of Love Bombing?
1. The Relationship Moves Way Too Fast
So you met this person just over a month ago. They are pushing to meet your family. A little more time flies by and then they want to move in with you. Before you know it, you start a family, and then you are really trapped.
This is not an exaggeration, it really happens. These love bombers pray on the vulnerability of others. They can read you well and know when you are not at your best.
2. In Love Bombing They Say I Love You Right Away
Many people are scared to even say the “L” word. But, not the love bombers. Heck, they may even say the phrase within weeks of dating if they know they can suck you in. That is obviously a red flag.
In a healthy relationship, you will know when the time is right to say “I love you.” If your partner says it before you are ready to, they will understand you are not there yet. If you say it first and mean it, you too will be patient in waiting for them to feel the same.
3. Love Bombers, They Always Tell You What You Want to Hear
Love bombers listen really well. They will ask you a lot of questions so they can learn all about you. What makes you happy, excites you, things you are passionate about, and more. Once they learn what motivates you and what you care about, they will make it a point to tell you everything you want to hear. If they are a narcissist, they will soon use it against you. (We will touch on narcissism in another article soon)
Imagine if you were down and out and then someone came along and said the perfect words that make you just melt or feel happy. However, the intent is not there. It’s only the beginning of the mind game.
4. While Love Bombing, They Will Give You Compliments and Romantic Gifts
Love bombers will go to any extreme to give you multiple compliments and buy you little gifts. They will make you feel good about yourself with a few words and then back it up with a little gift. But don’t be fooled, as they do this frequently. And you don’t even have to be in the relationship very long for it to happen.
Question yourself: Is this too quick for this much attention? Do their actions back up their words? How can they mean all of this when they barely know me?
4. There Are Immediate Promises About the Future
When we move in together, I will get you that car you have always wanted. That is after we get all the new furniture for your new office. But this will have to wait because I am going to take you on a cruise. I can see it now…. you, lying on the white sandy beach soaking up the sun.
Love bombers will promise you the moon. And you will be so taken in by their future plans because it is the most dreamy thing that has happened to you in a while. But once again, it is all part of their demeaning plan for you.
5. If It’s Seems Like It’s Too Good to Be True, It Probably Is
You think about spending the rest of your life with this person. The words your partner uses are perfect, your partner is perfect, the dating experience has been perfect thus far. You are on cloud 9 and nothing could be better. Everything is going your way.
Go with your gut reaction. Most likely it is right. Relationships take time and work. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. If things seem too good to be true, they most likely are.
Society paints relationships to look like fairy tales. Facebook shows people that are happy all of the time. This is not the truth.
There are many other ways that one can be love-bombed, these are just a few.
Typically love bombers will seek out someone who has low self-esteem or is depressed and has no confidence. Their victims could have just suffered something traumatic in their lives and are having a tough time. Either way, they will use their victim’s insecurities to capture them into an even more frustrating trap. That is after they have mentally manipulated their way into their victim’s hearts.
Hopefully, this gives you a little insight into love bombing. If you notice any of these things happening to you, take a minute and ask yourself, “does this person really know who I am, and do they show it in small ways with sincerity?” “Are they really genuine?” “Do they appear to be fake?”
If you answer yes to any of these questions or even part of them, you could be a victim of love bombing.
If you are the love bomber, Karma has no menu. You will get served what you deserve!
I spent 13 years trapped in something that was very difficult to escape. It all started with a “love bomb!”
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