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So, let’s talk about anger. How many of you reading this post have been angered by something or someone? Are you aware as to how you react when you are angry? Being angry, how does that make you feel?
Do you know what passive-aggression, open aggression, or assertive anger are? Chances are you have experienced all three. Read here to find out what is your anger type is and some ideas to cope with.
Anger is a word that everyone in this entire world is familiar with and has experienced. I would venture to say, that we have been angered more than once (understatement, I know) in our lifetimes.
Anger is considered one of the basic emotions. A few others would be, anxiety, sadness, happiness, disgust. It’s a necessary emotion. Anger can fuel us to the point we make other mistakes or poor decisions. Sometimes we use the energy behind anger to accomplish something great.
Keep in mind, anger can also be a “secondary emotion” to feeling sad, threatened, lonely or frightened.
Can anger become a disorder? Yes, it can. It can be problematic to the point that it interferes with mental health, work performance, parenting, relationships, and friendships. I am not a doctor or therapist so I will not go into the disorder of anger. But there are many forums, articles, etc., in which you can learn from the experts. You can find more information here.
There are three types of anger. These are Passive Aggression, Open Aggression, and Assertive Anger. If you are angry, the best approach is Assertive Anger.
CLICK HERE to watch this video to discover what the anger types are and how to cope with them. It can also be found on my Facebook Group page, or on my YouTube channel.
Do you know your anger type? Once you understand your anger patterns, coping with them may be easier.
What is Passive Aggression?
Passive-aggressive behaviors are those that involve acting indirectly rather than directly aggressive. Instead of getting visibly angry, some people express their hostility in passive-aggressive ways designed to hurt and confuse their target. Passive-aggressive people regularly exhibit resistance to requests or demands from family and other individuals often by procrastinating, expressing sullenness, or acting stubbornly.
Passive-aggressive behavior can be intensely frustrating for the target because it’s hard to identify, difficult to prove, and may even be unintentional. Passive aggression can lead to more conflict and intimacy issues because many people struggle to have a direct and honest conversation about the problem at hand. Nagging or getting angry only puts the passive-aggressive person on the defensive and can lead to more conflict and intimacy issues. This often results in them making excuses or denying any responsibility.
What is Open Aggression?
On the other hand, many people have a tendency to lash out in anger and rage, becoming physically or verbally aggressive and can often times hurt themselves or others. This is called Open Aggression. This comes out in fighting, bullying, blackmailing, accusing, shouting, bickering, sarcasm, and criticism. Open aggression comes from a need to be in control.
What is Assertive Anger?
Assertive anger is by far the best approach to anger. It is a healthy way to control anger. Assertive anger is controlled with confidence in talking and listening and having an open mind. But keep in mind, when you are first angered, this may not be your first thought. Therefore, it’s always wise not to react when angered, but to cool off and think about what really made you angry and why. It is then when you are reacting with assertive anger.
When you are using assertive anger, you are being patient, not raising your voice, thinking before you speak, and communicating how you feel emotionally, But with confidence. You exert a sense of empathy with those you are communicating with. When anger is dealt with with assertiveness, you show maturity and that you care about others and yourself.
Learning and practicing to forgive others and yourself is a huge key to anger and self-love in general. It does not mean you are a weak person or do not care. It is a great statement to your confidence!
Honestly, for me, forgiving was one of the hardest things to do and learn. And do I always forgive, the answer is NO. But once I do, it certainly makes a difference with my well-being.
Ways to Control Anger:
There are many ways to control anger. It is up to you to find what works for you or your particular situation. You may have several ways. There is no right or wrong way to control anger as long as there is no harm to yourself or another. Here are a few methods I use to control anger: exercise, cleaning, writing, meditation, watch something funny and shift my focus by other means.
Anger is a form of energy, so working this negative energy off and using it towards another incentive can accomplish great things!
So, now that you have a better understanding of the types of anger and a few ways to help control anger, what is your default and how do you cope?
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